I decided on my project idea after a dehumanizing experience I had a couple of weeks ago. It was around 1:30AM when I was on the way home from my hostessing job. The train car I got on was fairly empty with about 5 other people on it. There were two young men sitting across from me, and we’re all minding our business, when a middle-aged man decided to sit right next to me. He kept looking over at me for about 10 stops and the two guys sitting across from me watched it happen like a television show. So, imagine being at the corner of the row of seats, with four sets of eyes directly in front of you and two sets on one side of you. I felt cornered, small, and practically dead in my body. My eyes wandered around the train, looking for anything as a distraction… I couldn’t catch a breath. I had just come from working 8 hours on my feet. I was exhausted and wanted to be left alone without having to tell anyone to leave me alone. I didn’t have the energy to be in confrontation. When the man sitting next to me left the train, I didn’t feel any better. I felt like he took my power with him. I felt defeated and disappointed in myself for allowing him to come into my space and make me feel uncomfortable. I’ve forgiven myself since then because 1. I usually don’t standby in silence, but 2. I’m still finding the language to have prepared for the variety of experiences of being objectified, but that encounter reminded me how important it is for me to speak up because of the expectation that I will stay quiet as a person of a marginalized group.
For my final project, I have written and performed a poem based on the countless encounters I’ve had with the male gaze and cat-callers, how it feels when I standby and don’t speak up, and why I owe it to myself to continue to break my silence. The idea that the gaze separates my body from my spirit and humanity is supported by the images of the female body in the media. For example, in various Tom Ford campaigns, the naked female body is used to sell shoes, bags, and men’s cologne, and a pattern I noticed in these ads is the choice to crop the face/head off of the female body.
This is a clear reinforcement of the female body as separate from her brain, her voice, and dignity. It also reinforces the rhetoric of the female body as passive and in service of the male gaze as we’ve discussed in class. Below are the resources I referenced to support my perspective and be further inspired to write this poem.
With the card I’ve passed out, I encourage the class to write the things that they stand for on the back and keep it with them or in their home as a reminder of why they “will not standby” in silence. And, as we know, it’s just as important for a person of a marginalized group to speak up for themselves as it is for a person who has privilege in any part of the cultural sphere to speak up for others.
Works Cited
Berger, John. Ways of Seeing.
Lorde, Audre. “The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action.” Sister Outsider.
Mulvey, Laura. “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema.” Film Theory and Criticism: Introductory Readings.
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